Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Being patient... (a post written before our vaca!)

...not my forte!

I don't usually get very personal on here, but let's face it Shane and I don't only eat and have fun.  We also have real life challenges that I don't blog about. But why?  I don't know, why not start?? 

I've been MIA from the blogging world, but thought blogging might be a cathartic way to mourn/vent.  See several weeks ago, I found out I was finally pregnant.  I/We were more than excited, that after months of trying, we were pregnant!  Unfortunately on 4th of July I had a miscarriage at a little over 8 weeks.  I know this is very common (60 % of first pregnancies end this way), but it doesn't make the experience any easier, especially when you don't already have a child to look at and say, I know this is possible.  Luckily, I'm a pretty positive person (even been called Silver Lining Sam by some) and know it wasn't meant to be and we will have our dream baby when the time is right.

Things I already knew have been reconfirmed over the last few months!  In no particular order.... Things happen when the time is right.  Patience pays off!  Nothing is guaranteed and not to get excited prematurely about certain things. Good friends are even more amazing at times like these.  Mom's can really carry some of your sorrow and comfort you even when you're feeling hopeless.  A good husband rises to the occasion and develops new skills (such as cleaning, just teasing boos) when you need them.  Yeah, my sense of humor seems to returning.  What doesn't break you only makes you closer, I feel closer to my Shaner than ever before.  The right doctor can really reassure you that things will be okay and work out. And lastly pregnancies are a funny thing, there is no right and wrong time to tell people and everyone thinks they know everything about your pregnancy.  Whether I wanted people to find out early or not, they did and some of the kind words and support we've received during this event have been so incredible. Knowing these things next time, I will try not to stress as much when people find out, my friends know me and I'm a crumby liar and that's that.    

Finally, I'm so grateful that we have this built in system of miscarriage when something is not right with the baby, so less babies are born unhealthy...  As sad as I am that I lost this baby, I have all the hope in the world that my next pregnancy will be different and that I will have a happy and healthy baby which was ultimately all I ever wanted.  I look forward to sharing that journey when it does indeed happen.  

Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to leaving on a vacation with my amazing hubby!  This trip couldn't have been any more perfectly timed.  Anguilla here we come!  Going here... So grateful that we have dear friends that invite us to travel with them.


P.S.  We are BAAAACK!! I have over 430 pics to upload, along with stories to share.  BUT first, I must free up some space on my computer, so it will except the massive upload! :)

 Happy to be back to blogging! 

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